Yo YO. So Unibrow was goin for a walk when he saw this hot sign on a Halal Food Cart at 14th St. near 3rd Ave. I wish every cart had some fob shit like this, check it:
Ok, can someone tell me what the fuck “indian spicy” means? Whatever, hook it up mohammad… hot sauce white sauce, all that goodness…
Oh, bonus pic right here y’all. Another cart down the block, except this time NYPD is busy makin a statement:
Y’all suspect terrorism up in this bitch? Yea that’s right, that white sauce ain’t no condiment, shit is some liquid C4 on the real. And word up, they got a convenient Report-a-’Slim number posted up too, 1-888-NYC-SAFE!!!
Anyway, like I said before, only thang them cart ’Slims be blowin up is that ass. You gonna eat street meat? be prepared to deal with the motherfuckin consequences y’all!
Ha word, Unibrow will be back to hit y’all up with some hot shit soon – and I ain’t talkin bout no stomach pains post Street Meat either. Holla at us on the FaceBook page
Post drunken madness at a certain Indian kati roll joint in the West Village, NYC–we’re huge fans of this spot, especially when there’s drunken brown drama!
59th St, NYC
This guy had no clue! Thanks for the free advertising freakishly tall man!
Check it, Mista Unibrow was walkin down the ave a couple nights ago, and out the corner of my eye, I spot this wild ass lookin food cart with a homegirl servin up fresh, home-made injun food. Check this insane shit out:
In case the non-browns didn’t notice, us curry-colored folks been tryna to look like the White Man for a hot minute now.
Whether you talkin bout POND’S cream, the infamous Fair N’ Lovely skin fairness cream, or Dove’s beauty products “specially made for the Asian subcontinent,” the marketing teams behind ’em are out to make us feel like being dark is a curse.
Pic of the goods–also note the fake ass “FairGlow” underneath–it wouldn’t be legit Brown unless someone knocked it off
Now take a look at this screencap from a Dove commercial:
Yo YO people, whats good? Unibrow back in the house, ready to kick it with y’all one more time.
So your man Unibrow was on the youtubes the other day and came across some funny TV spots for Tilda Basmati rice. Any self respectin brownie knows exactly what Tilda is. And if your brown ass don’t know wtf Tilda is, sorry, but you’re hopeless.
And yo, while we’re on the subject about keepin it real, man the fuck up and change your name back to Rajendar--you’re brown, not white, “Ryan”--on the real though, no offense to the Catholics and Christian browns with legit anglo-type names. Don’t worry, I see you keepin it real brown on the ave, Billy D’souza.
Anyway, gettin the fuck off topic here per the usual Unibrow post, so it’s time to step back and refocus on what we’re dealin with here:
Man, just have a look at that claim on the left side of the package “PURE BASMATI TASTES LIKE NO OTHER RICE ON EARTH, BITCHES!!!!!!!!” Word up. Truth.
So check it… ever since Unibrow was a youngin and the brow was still growin magic, I remember seein all types of wack ass commercials on them bollywood tapes: Tilda, Fair & Lovely (something Unibrow will comment on in the near future), and spots for Maggi Noodles. Word up, they were all over them tapes moms used to pick up from the Patel Bros. store in da heightz
Y’all remember Patel Bros? Hell yea you do, it’s the best place to hit up some lonely aunties--ain’t nothin wrong with that!
So check it, the youtubes got some funny ass clips of those Tilda ads--except these look like they’re made for TV. I tried finding the o.g. ones from the bollywood flicks, but no dice. Check these out, starting with the fob version:
and here’s one meant for the whites in England:
and this last one… peeps kept it real with the aunty goin buckwild about them fakeass microwave Tildas--must see:
You know, I had no clue Tilda kept it real like that. Anyone else remember how wack some of those commercials were on them tapes? Oh, and why the fuck do they always gotta scroll the name of the video joint at the bottom of the screen throughout the entire movie. Anyone else see that? Or were they just some Patel Bros.’ ghetto tapes?
Word up, now u know where to find them spicy aunties… all up in the spice aisle at the patel bros., holla
